Book author cracks
his own
subconscious mental block.
I was just watching a fantastic video by a musician
named Hozier on u-Tube. In his song (Take me to Church) he expresses his
frustration with organized religion, and sees his woman as his new church. He
says he feels closest to God while having sex. He sings of worship, sacrifice,
and amen! As I listened to the words, I suddenly had clarity of my own
situation.
I just finished a three-book set called Longue Durée.
Through all three books, the main character Louis Bautista doesn’t hide his
resentment for organized religion. Things he does, things he allows, and things
that he instigates, make it clear that Louis has an inner battle with a bigger
power. In book three, Louis is married to a girl that is very religious, and
they, after other failed marriages, succeed in becoming parents. By this time,
Louis has become very wealthy. Their son has become a research scientist,
breaking all the rules of science and God. His wife tries to show him how he is
angering God, and Louis, keeps funding his career to prove her wrong. This is
just a back-story in the books, and not the main story.
Sometimes writing is a form of therapy. This one has
been coming for many years.
Reality, takes more work then writing a book. From the
time I was a child my parents pushed religion at me. It was burnt into my mind
at an early age; therefore, I am still haunted by the teachings to this day. I
spent years in classes, theology, ministry school, and even bible studies at home.
I am not a person that blindly accepts something that will shape my life.
Things have to be proved to me. I, for lack of a better word, graduated, and
was qualified to be a minister. After years of study and research, I kept
running into a barrier with each religion. I was not looking for a barrier. I
wanted to believe. I do Believe! But, just as in my books, man's greed and
corruption can take the most beautiful gift, and corrupt it.
I grew up in the Bible Belt, Ohio, Indiana, Tennessee,
and Kentucky. When you are deeply surrounded by the faith, it’s hard to see
beyond the congregation. I moved out of the U.S., back into the U.S., and now live
in Florida. I have been in many countries, islands, and oceans, with drastic financial ups and
downs. When you get out of your little… space, the big picture gets
clearer.
God and I communicate in prayer. Prayer is not
for public display and when I pray, it is usually very personal. I must
believe? I keep going to him.
I found today that the emotion that drives my writing,
and my confusion, is anger. At first, I thought that for some reason I
was angry at God, but that didn’t make sense. Hozier’s song, as out there as
it is, showed me my problem. The anger is at man’s attempt to use God to
manipulate the sheep. It's never enough, I'm always guilty. I'm tired of feeling guilty. I tried to be a sheep. I can’t do it!
I have written twelve finished books, so far. The
inner battle of the author shows in them all. Now that I realize I am doing
this, perhaps I will change my style.
Longue Durée book 1, 2, and 3, do a fairly good
personality profile of me. I was surprised! Only you will know that! Read book 1, and let me
know what you think.
#Religion, #Psychology #Travel #Health #Medical #Book #Fiction #Music #Awareness #Sex
